The Mankowitz Meteorological Society
813 Downing Street
Teaneck, NJ 07666

The Mankowitz Meteorological Society is pleased to announce the discovery of a new celestial body. The planet, which will be called Jacob Noah Mankowitz, is one of the smallest planets ever discovered by renowned astronomer Suzanne Mankowitz and reputed astrologer Scott Mankowitz. The planet is 20 inches long and weighs 3.02 kg. Some researchers believe that this may be the cutest planet ever

The planet was discovered at the New York Hospital Observatory at 6:19 pm on January 28, 2008 (star date 22 Shvat 5768 – 10 minutes after 6pm NYC solar time). The planet is believed to be much older. As much as nine months, by some calculations.

The atmosphere of this planet is composed largely of milk, and is believed to sustain life. The planet’s orbit is much shorter than that of the earth, leading to a day that is only about four earth-hours. Inhabitants of this planet seem to eat every two hours and wake up at least six times a day.

The new planet is found in the Mankowitz galaxy, approximately 1 astronomical unit from the center of our solar system. Other recent discoveries in this area include Benjamin and Zachary, two red dwarf sons who are 8 and 5 light years away respectively. Tamar, the only uncircumcised constellation in this galaxy is 2 light years off

Please send correspondence to jacob@mankowitz.org, as he would love to hear from you. If you do not yet have email, you can always send paper-and-ink letters. For those interested in up-to-the-minute information, check out http://www.mankowitz.org.

Sincerely,

[1] Of course, these same researchers thought Pluto was a planet, and look how wrong they were.
[2] And, yes, Suzanne is on earth, while Scott is somewhere in space.